Have It Your Way at Burger King

I have never worked in the fast food industry. By the time I was looking for a job, I jumped right to busser at Juanita's Mexican Food in Denver because I was so advanced in the art of food service. Sadly, I missed out on the fun that is drive-through windows, all-you-can-eat french fries and the lovely customers like this one who lost her shit at a Burger King this week. Usually, she is probably a soft delicate flower of femininity, but not this day. Apparently, her Whopper, Jr. took too long so she felt like the best way to show her dissatisfaction with the service was to slap an employee, pull some hair, climb up on the counter, hit someone with a plastic container and throw napkins all over the place. Oh yeah. And she did it all while in a bikini, because she's classy like that.



I don't get it. All this over a Whopper, Junior? It's not like it's a Mexi Melt from Taco Bell or something. If they fucked up your Mexi Melt, by all means, go for it. Kick some Taco Bell ass. But this Burger King, honey. Who cares? Of course she was arrested and it came out that she is the mother of four. Three of her kids were with her when all this went down because she is real big on providing positive role models for her children. You can be sure that the next time her daughter wants an extra chicken finger at the school cafeteria, the six year old will strip down to her bikini and start going to town on some lunch lady, slapping her with a lunch box and throwing Crayons at her.

My favorite part of the article on The Smoking Gun:

"When I walked in they had no smiles on their faces. We weren’t treated fairly." Having herself previously worked at McDonald’s and Church’s Chicken, Smith added, “I know how to greet my customers.”

Oh, so it's the employees' fault? They didn't have smiles on their faces because they are working at a fucking Burger King. In Florida. During Spring Break. Can you blame them? I'm surprised they didn't all have suicide notes pinned to their shirts after they opened the doors and saw that their whole clientele was in bathing suits that day. I don't like Whoppers, but to eat one while looking at women in bikinis makes me wanna puke a little bit. Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, bitches in bikinis might upset us.


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