A Comment on Comments

I have not felt the need to write a "Comment on Comments" post in a while because in my old age, I have learned to accept that people have differing opinions and it's what makes our world such a wonderful place to live in. However, that being said, someone wrote something that I could not let pass by. I wrote a post called Neat vs. Straight Up way back in October of 2009. Someone who is way tardy for the party wrote this comment the other day, edited because she might be a bag full of hot air and belchy smells:

Kelly said: Ahhh, you've got to love people in the "service" industry who act like life would be great if it weren't for all these f*&king customers. You wait tables or bartend for a living. Most people don't drink for a living and therefore might not get their orders perfect. When customers act like a$$holes, then I agree they deserve a good trashing. No one deserves to be disrespected.

It would be great if servers, yes servers, would find a decent way to help people make corrections without making them feel like jerks.

How about:
Customer: I'll take a Maker's Mark up
Waiter: (Kindly) In our bar, up means chilled. Would you rather have that neat, which would be room temperature?
Customer: Yes, that would be great. Thanks!

Your method of bringing me what I didn't really want and getting into a pissing match about it means I'm going to a different bar next time.

Okay, so I already explained that the customer was the one trying to make me feel like an idiot. He was rude, condescending and I didn't like his outfit. I didn't disrespect him. I corrected him which is the right thing to do or he will spend his entire life ordering his Maker's Mark the wrong way and thinking that every waiter he ever has is stupid. He ordered his Maker's Mark "up" so that is what I brought him. It's rare that someone would want that liquor up, but some people like it on the rocks so how am I to know? A Manhattan is made with Maker's Mark and it comes up and in a martini glass, so it wasn't like the most unusual request I have ever had. I don't judge (okay, I totally judge) when someone orders White Zinfandel with ice or an Irish coffee without any liquor, so if he wanted his Maker's up, so be it. And thank you, Kelly, for your suggestion of how it should be played out the next time this situation arises. Your little script will be very helpful. Rest assured that I printed it out in fancy font, shrunk it down, had it laminated and it is now in my wallet for the next time I don't know what to say to a customer. Can you do me a favor? Can you please write out some other scenarios for potentially awkward situations? I would like laminated directions for these moments:

• when someone asks me to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for their two year old when it is not on the menu.
• when someone wants to know why we have Pepsi and not Coca-Cola.
• what do I say when a customer wants to know why their well-done burger is still not ready three minutes after they ordered it?
• how do I respond to the customer who wants me to turn the music to another channel because they don't like that song?
• or what about when a customer asks me to turn the music off because her baby is taking a nap?

Thanks, Kelly. I can't wait to have these good-to-go scripts ready for my next confusing moment. Your help is invaluable. And also, your comment "most people don't drink for a living" is the saddest thing I have ever heard. You just brought down my entire day.


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