Credit Card Fraud is Not Cool

We food-slingers work for tips and it's no secret that we depend on them to make our living. Anonymous, let me stop you right there before you say some stupid ass shit like "get a real job" or "tipping is optional." For whatever reason, we wait tables. And for whatever reason, in this country tipping is expected. End of story. When we look at a credit card voucher to see what our tip is, there are many scenarios that can make it confusing for us. (And Anonymous, it's not confusing because servers are stupid. It's confusing because too many people don't understand how to fill out a freakin' credit card slip. Zip it.)

How many times have you gotten a voucher where they just scribble in a total without bothering to write how much the tip is? You know what I mean? Say their bill is $72.23 and they don't bother writing a tip in. They just put $100 in the final line. Not a huge deal, but it means that I have to pull out my third grade math skills and subtract subtract $72.23 from $100 to find out what I have to put into the computer for my tip. (It's $27.77, Anonymous. I'm not stupid.) It's just an extra step that I have to take and it can suck when you are looking at a pile of 40 vouchers that have to be closed.

Another irritating thing is when people write the tip in clearly and the total in clearly, but the the two don't add up. Then I have to decide which one do I accept as correct. For instance: the bill is $40 and they write as the tip $8 but then they total it as $50. What to do? If I put in $8 for the tip, then the total will differ from their copy and wreak havoc when they try to balance their checkbook. So I go with the $50 total and assume they meant to give me a ten dollar tip. However, if the bill was $40, they wrote in $10 for the tip and they total it as $48, I will have to take the ten dollar tip. I will always take what is going to benefit me the most. If there is a problem (and there never has been) all I have to do is show that the ten dollars was very clearly written.

Finally, I fucking hate it when people just scribble random numbers in various spaces that don't mean shit and I have to pull out the goddamn Rosetta Stone to decipher what the hell they meant. Sometimes we just have to hope for the best and guess at what the tip was meant to be. That can be dangerous though because you don't want to be all guilty of credit card fraud and shit. This woman was just arrested for adding $953.19 in credit card tips between February 3 and March 12 of this year. That's almost two hundred bucks a week. That silly goose must have been adding zeros left and right and she thought no one would notice that shit? Uh, honey. If someone meant to tip $13.28 and you try to close it out as $132.80 cents, they're gonna notice. Dumb, honey. Real dumb. And to top it off, she worked at Outback Steakhouse. Hopefully, the judge won't throw her ass in jail and will just tell her she has to work an extra shift every week for two years. I would imagine serving Bloomin' Onions all day is a prison all its own.


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