Jet Blue Guy is Fired

Sad news for Steven Slater, the waitress of the sky. He has been officially fired from Jet Blue. The horror of firing someone on Labor Day weekend. Sure, we all knew his ass was going to be dumped since he went all crazy and slid down that emergency slide, but c'mon. On Labor Day? What a way to ruin a three day weekend. And didn't he pretty much quit anyway when he slid down the emergency slide? Steven Slater has probably been sitting by the phone for weeks wondering when he was going to be put back on the schedule but now he knows. It ain't happening. I suppose when you get fired for a reason like his, filing for unemployment is not an option. So I thought of some other career opportunities for him:

• He could get a job like George Clooney had in that movie Up In The Air where he went to different companies to fire people. Steven could explain that their services are no longer needed and then help them devise an exit strategy that will make them be remembered.
• He could do a commercial for United Airlines and urge people to "fly the friendly skies." And at the end of it he could just say "Fuck Jet Blue and that lady who made me lose it on her ass."
• He could do Celebrity Rehab if he does in fact have a problem. And even if he doesn't. I wanna see him living with Dr. Drew and Janice Dickinson.
• He could do a guest spot on Jersey Shore so the next time Snooki does some stupid ass shit, he can tell her "bitch, please" and then show her how it's really done.
• He could work for the MTA in New York City because with his crappy attitude and shitty ass work ethic, he will fit right in with every other MTA worker and rocket his way to the top.
• He could be a judge on Iron Chef because I am sick of seeing that asshole Jeffrey Steingarten. They need a new asshole.
• He could be on Dancing With the Stars because they will put anyone on that freaking show. I mean, Bristol fucking Palin is on it this year.
• He could be a kindergarten teacher because I bet he has so much patience when it comes to children.
• He could work at a carnival in one of those bouncy castle things with the blow up slide because he obviously has experience in that arena.
• Finally, he could always come work with me. We will be BFF's and sit in the back of the room and make fun of people and sneak cocktails.

Good luck, Steven Slater. Your 15 minutes may be just about up so I hope you can finagle some way to make this work out for you. You stood up for all of us service workers and even though some people think you are an asshole, there are plenty of us who love you because we think you are an asshole. You are our hero.


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